I managed to completely bork my laptop due to a botched driver install, but my horribly silly habit of imaging it every night lets me laugh about it. Hello there. I've decided to jabber on again about things which may or may not apply to you, and things which you may or may not care about. I don't know, the whole habit going on online with all-too-many journals and MySpace and Facebook and Livejournal is to just scream out to nobody every single little occurrence of one's life. I find that silly and futile, but what frightens me is how often people actually care. I'm yet to figure that out. So, what's going on with me, anyways (well, if you happen to care. Fortunately enough, I have plenty of fodder seeing as the last journal was written many, many months ago. Silly, silly me.)

Well, as far as writing is concerned, I've happened to discover that I can actually write. I was rather startled by this, but it has been a pleasant discovery. Along with that, though, every time I think I've got something, I realize that it falls back to my wonderful little pattern of divine mediocrity--although that's another comfort in itself, really. Patterned regularity is often nice. I might begin posting some of the writings to dA, although I have found that writing itself can be exceedingly therapeutic. I have been told that if I lived in the 18^th century, my writing would have fit a wee bit better. As is for the best, possibly. I am yet to know.
In other semiartistic realms, I applied for a position on the school arts magazine which has published me twice. Despite my efforts and a rather long application, I was not accepted. Oh well, no surprise there. I have been a bit busy to fool around with print paper in the Polaroid Land lately, but I hope to do that a bit more. Fascinating and magical stuff. I'm still in conflict between portraiture and object-based photography (photography of life or photography of that which has never lived and will never live) because the former is so much more popular--but I have finally decided that I'm an object-oriented person, and that will be how I shall remain. I find the train-yards more beautiful than the meadows. I still don't know whether my photography is in resurgence from decline, but I was going through hundreds of prints a few days ago...and I still far prefer my film work. I simply need to find the time to romp around with the OM-1 some more. I also will soon acquire from a very kind fellow 4"x5" and 8"x10" large format cameras. Despite the monetary burden of the film, that will be quite a bit of fun.

In other terms, life has been a bit crazy for me. For a while, school had begun to build upon itself as increasingly stressful, and had begun to stir up my anxiety more than usual. I kept deliberating upon figuring that out when I had recently been rather dragged into having to experience being rather close to a suicide--and, for better or for worse, that changed a few things. My old contentedness has finally returned. Despite all the work, I need to continue to remember my little coping mechanisms--photography, electronics, and other such fun. In other news, I recently passed the technician's exam for amateur radio (by the FCC). I hope to buy a radio soon.

Have a good day, week, and rest of the year (not to mention non-denominational capitalistic gift-giving season! Oh, I love the Christmases...it feeds my little pathetic materialism). Thank you for reading. I may or may not decide to write these more often...it partially depends upon your actions.